


Don't be shy, gimme a sign

by mkhhhx



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Character Study, Cuddling & Snuggling, Domestic, First Kiss, Light Angst, M/M, Our wolf pup is insecure, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, based on that fansign where Won said Kyun's studio feels like home, but in the studio, other members mentioned - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-08
Updated: 2018-04-08
Packaged: 2019-04-20 07:11:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14255664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mkhhhx/pseuds/mkhhhx
Summary: Hyungwon is homesick, but visiting Changkyun's studio in the middle of the night makes everything a little better.





	Don't be shy, gimme a sign

**Author's Note:**

> They are such a soft ship that I needed to write something unnecessary fluffy.

It’s late at night when Hyungwon stumbles inside Changkyun’s studio. The only source of light is the computer screen, Changkyun covering most of it with his head.  
  
“Hyung?” He turns around and Hyungwon stands there, at the door, with a sheepish smile on his face.  
  
“Hey, Changkyun.” It’s all he musters, not daring to move a step more. He really didn’t think much about it, maybe he’s interrupting the rapper’s creative process.  
  
“Come in hyung” Changkyun says softly and lets his earphones fall around his neck “are you alright?”

“Yes” He isn’t. He’s tired and he was walking in the cold and light rain for half an hour because he didn’t want to wake up the manager to drive him, or ask for the company car. It’s two in the morning and the circles around his eyes must be so bad that he looks like an oversized slim panda. He slips on the small couch, at the opposite end of the studio from Changkyun and leaves the bag he was carrying on the cushions next to him.  
  
“I brought you energy drinks, do you have a lot of work left?” Changkyun’s favorite brand of energy drinks, Hyungwon knew all of his taste preferences by heart now.

“Not really, I was wrapping up.” Changkyun turns to look at him. “Do you want to give it a listen?” he says and Hyungwon doesn’t fail to notice the insecurity in his voice. He gets up again and takes a chair to sit next to Changkyun’s gaming one.  
  
“Gimme” he makes grabby hands at the earphones until Changkyun takes them off of his neck and places them on Hyungwon’s head. The boy presses play and Hyungwon waits through the few seconds of silence until the music starts. A heavy hiphop beat without voice recorded over it, but he can see Changkyun’s lips moving to words only he knows.

Without realizing it, Hyungwon moves his head to the beat, taps his foot on the floor to the rythme and a smile lights up his face. Changkyun’s lips mirror the motion and when the music ends and Hyungwon takes the earphones off Changkyun’s eyes are wide and all of his attention on his hyung, he’s waiting for an opinion.  
  
“Seriously, it’s great Changkyun. I think it will suit your voice a lot. You just need to smooth out some parts, but I’m sure you already know that.” Changkyun nods and closes the media player program, letting on display the group photo he has as background, one from their All In promotions.

“Thank you hyung…it means a lot, really.” Changkyun says shyly. Hyungwon remembers how Changkyun was at first. So shy and quiet. He never asked for anything, depending on his hyungs to remember his existence and leave food and hot water and some room for his laundry. Thankfully, Hoseok and Hyunwoo were always thoughtful of him, until everyone else started to warm up to their maknae too. Hyungwon knows they are all whipped for Changkyun now, would do anything for him and he would do everything for them, because they are a family.

Changkyun gets up from his chair and stretches, lifts his hands above his head and yawns, tanned patches of skin visible between the waistband of his pants and his shirt. Hyungwon shouldn’t think about it, about Changkyun like this. They are groupmates and men and even if they weren’t all that, little are the chances Changkyun would like him back.

It’s difficult for Hyungwon, admitting that he likes the younger boy. But there are times when he believes his feelings are returned, when Changkyun hugs him for a bit longer than necessary, when he lets Hyungwon rest with his head on his lap and when they spend nights like this, in the confined space of the studio. The place Changkyun can call his own and Hyungwon calls home.

Changkyun walks to the couch and flops on the cushions, hugs his Pikachu plushie, a present from Hoseok. He opens the bag Hyungwon brought and looks at the contents. Energy drinks, chips and chocolate and a cola bottle. Hyungwon gets comfortable at the other end of the couch, leaving some centimeters of space between them and suddenly it’s too quiet, leaving Hyungwon alone with his thoughts and the sounds of Changkyun gulping down his drink at the background.

Hyungwon does this a lot. Sneaks out of the dorm in the middle of the night to visit Changkyun in his studio. Some nights he just wants company and is too fed up with Jooheon’s snoring. Other times he convinces himself he’s gonna confess to Changkyun, tell him everything he has in his head and hope it won’t strain their relationship too much. Tonight, he just misses home, a lot. He misses his parents and his brother and his old room and dance academy.

Out of his six groupmates, Changkyun is the one who knows how to comfort him the best. He doesn’t try talking if Hyungwon doesn’t want to. He takes his hyung on his lap, gives him a long hug, cuddles him and pets his hair until Hyungwon falls asleep and can’t think and worry anymore. Are friends supposed to be like this? Groupmates? Work partners?

Hyungwon watches Changkyun opening a bag of chips, throwing some into his mouth like a performing seal and happily munching. He’s so adorable, like a puppy and thankfully too engrossed in munching because Hyungwon knows he’s staring, maybe too intensely.

“Do you want hyung?” Changkyun is holding chips in front of Hyungwon’s lips with the same hand he was licking crumbles from a few moments ago, but yet again there’s little personal space and hygiene between them, not that Hyungwon complains for the lack of it. Only Kihyun does that. He opens his mouth and waits for Changkyun to feed him, closes and chews while Changkyun is smiling too widely and poking his nose.  
  
“You look too tired, why did you come here?” Changkyun topples the rest of the chips from the bag straight into his mouth.

“I just…wanted to see you” Hyungwon says, a bit awkwardly but it’s the closest to the truth he can offer. He couldn’t sleep, he was overthinking, everyone else was asleep and he would surely wake someone up if he kept walking around the dorm. He wanted to talk to Changkyun, or have his hair caressed until he dozed off, he would take whichever. Hyungwon was aware of the next day’s schedule, packed like every other day of the promotions but he is also aware of the sparkles in Changkyun’s eyes and the computer screen dimming, leaving them in practically darkness.

They sit in a comfortable silence for some minutes and if it wasn’t for the white of Changkyun’s eyes, Hyungwon would have thought that the younger had fallen asleep. Changkyun always managed to be so quiet, even his breath being noiseless. Then Hyungwon felt the body next to his own shifting, trying to find a more comfortable position, Changkyun ending up mostly on Hyungwon, head on his shoulder and legs drawn to his chest and on Hyungwon’s lap. Changkyun noses on Hyungwon’s neck, and Hyungwon can feel a breath on his skin, coming out in small puffs of air.

“Hyung” he breaths out and Hyungwon feels himself shiver. He’s sure Changkyun can feel it too, maybe has a sly smile because he’s doing this on purpose. Or maybe everything is just in Hyungwon’s mind.  
  
“Yes Changkyunnie?” He answers and gets a happy hum in response to the nickname.  
  
“Are you lonely?” Changkyun’s voice is so low, soothing on Hyungwon’s ears, like those narrators at meditation music on youtube.  
  
“Right now, I am not.” He feels secure, loved, with the warm body by his side.  
  
“Because I’m here?” Changkyun asks and Hyungwon can imagine the way his droopy eyes look up to him.  
  
“Because you are here.” Hyungwon’s mind goes to so many occasions. Changkyun making everything better by just being there, existing in Hyungwon’s life, offering a smile and reassuring words even when he wasn’t sure about himself. Hyungwon wants to give all that back, that, and so much more. He feels pampered when he should be taking the role of the hyung, being guided instead of guiding.

He’s getting sleepy, mind not quite working when he slips an arm around Changkyun’s shoulders and brings him a bit closer, touches the crown of the younger’s head with his nose, almost convincing himself that it would be okay to leave a soft kiss there. But there are not cameras around, no need for fanservice and more intimacy than the one Hyungwon is currently exhibiting could be considered as stepping over some boundaries. He should respect Changkyun. The youngest one would take the initiation to take the first step if he wanted something more, wouldn’t he?

“Hyung, if I ask you something, will you be honest?” Changkyun’s voice is so low and he gently rocks back and forth anxiously, with his knees still brought to his chest.  
  
“Of course Changkyunnie.” Hyungwon pets his hair, they use skinship a lot between them, to calm each other down. It felt like home, the closest to loving they could have in their tight schedules.  
  
“Do you think Jooheon hyung is better than me? A better rapper? Artist?” There is desperation in Changkyun’s voice, for the validation he seeks from his hyung and Hyungwon feels trusted, but yet so sad that Changkyun’s mind is going over this, but he knows why.

Changkyun is an excellent rapper, hardworking and talented, but sometimes his efforts are just overlooked when compared to the miracle that is Lee Jooheon.

Before debut, when Changkyun was charismatic, Jooheon was already professional. Afterwards, the deep, slow and soothing sound of Changkyun’s mixtape came second to the strong vibes of Jooheon’s hiphop. Changkyun loves Jooheon like a brother and like an inspiration and Hyungwon knows where the feelings of not being enough come from. He feels the same sometimes, as a dancer and as a vocalist.

“He’s not. You’re equal Changkyun, just different. His voice is different, his style and his work process, his performances and the emotions he wants to transfer to the listeners. He’s not better than you, just like you’re not better than him. We are a family Changkyun, we need to work and improve together. I know it’s hard and painful sometimes and I know you struggle to reach a level that exists only in your head. You’re getting there, I can see how much you have improved. I am proud of you.”

Hyungwon feels Changkyun’s body shaking, realizes that he’s crying, letting out soft little whimpers. Changkyun needed to hear this, he deserved it and tiredness is slowly taking over him, letting so much space for his insecurities and self-doubt. Hyungwon holds him and messes his hair and again wants to peck his cheeks and his nose but he doesn’t find the courage to do so.

“I needed this hyung, thank you” Changkyun clears his throat and Hyungwon makes out his balled first drying up his eyes.  
  
“Do you want to go to sleep? I can call a taxi to take us back.” That would mean limited food money for a few days since the taxi fees were too high at this hour, but he needed to take care of their maknae.  
  
“Let’s stay here hyung.” Changkyun cuddles by his side “I’m sleepy, but I won’t sleep yet.”

“Do you want to talk about something?” Hyungwon can barely keep his eyes open, the couch too comfy, Changkyun so warm and the dark room just perfect.  
  
“No I…” Changkyun shifts, sitting on his knees “can I do something hyung?”  
  
“Hm?” Hyungwon feels Changkyun’s smaller hands cupping his face, a foreign breath ghosting over his lips.  
  
“Can I, Hyungwon?” Hyungwon doesn’t know what he agrees to, or when he does, but there are soft lips on his own, Changkyun kissing him like he’s the most delicate little glass thing. Hyungwon kisses back, pulls away from the kiss for only a moment and then pecks Changkyun again and again, until the younger is giggling and Hyungwon feels like he’s gonna combust with happiness.

“I know it can’t mean something hyung, but maybe it won’t hurt, sometimes, to kiss a bit. I like kissing you, I’ve been thinking about it a lot. Consider it a thank you, maybe.” Changkyun sleepily mumbles on Hyungwon’s skin, just before they fall asleep. All Hyungwon can think is how the sweet weight of Changkyun above him and the soft couch beneath them feels so much like home. A place he belongs to.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!


End file.
